So here it is Saturday…and I hope yours has been fun so far. We participated (and by we, I mean I…hubby doesn’t run) in our town’s Crazy Day 5K, went out for breakfast, mowed the side yard, helped set up our church’s booth at the Crazy Day event, painted a new-to-me writing desk that’s going in our bedroom (which I’m stoked about), and ran to the hardware store – all before noon. Hubby is currently working on the previously-mentioned hole in the bedroom wall and converting it into a thing of magic. I think I’ll be ready for a nap before long.
Several months ago, I was reading Leeana Tankersley’s new book, Brazen. In it, she delves deep into what it means to live without shame – loved, worthy and created by God to be and do something unique. I underlined and highlighted my way all through that book, and this quote stuck out so much that I actually wrote it down in my journal:
I wrote down a few dreams that were stirring around in my heart at the time…having children, writing on a consistent basis, helping other women feel connected and beautiful in my work with Noonday. And then I wrote this:
You’re kind of all over the dream for children, Abba. This whole adoption process has been You, breathed on by You… (Help me to) bless and release the results of each of those dreams.
Many times, when we’re waiting for the fulfillment of a dream we’ve had for a long time, that waiting period feels like hope deferred, a dry and barren place. It feels like the dream has been forgotten, dusty and alone on the shelf. That’s exactly what my dream for children, for a family of our own, had felt like for years. But this quote, buried in Leeana’s book, along with this adoption process, had poked that dusty dream and turned it over for me to see in a new light. Was my hope for a family really dried up and forgotten? Or was it quietly building energy, getting ready to explode at just the right time? I was beginning to see that, just maybe, it was the latter.
I don’t know what dreams you’ve had stirring around in your heart lately. Maybe it’s holding out hope for that job to come through that you’ve always wanted. Maybe it’s the desire for a husband and family of your own. Maybe it’s the dream of saying a crazy ‘yes’ to that chance of a lifetime.
Whatever it is, waiting for it to finally happen can sometimes drain all the hope from the dream. At least, it can feel that way. But let’s take another look. Let’s permit ourselves, when the dream seems dry, to look beyond what our feelings dictate to be true, and ask ourselves if just maybe there’s another side to the story.
Maybe God is asking you to wait, to build the character in you that He knows you’re going to need when the fulfillment of that dream actually happens.
Maybe He’s preparing your heart and the heart of your future spouse, even now, asking both of you to release emotional baggage that would only weigh down your marriage.
Maybe what feels like a dried-up ‘no’ in answer to your prayers, is really a ‘wait.’
Maybe, instead of drying up, your dream is just getting ready to explode.