A saleswoman I am not. And yet, here I was contemplating selling jewelry to help add to our family resources and raise funds for our adoption process. Truth: it wasn’t just selling jewelry. My heart came alive just thinking about being part of helping artisans in other countries provide for their families, about being part of preventing the orphan crisis around the world, and connecting women locally and abroad.
But…I had to sell things to do it. And, I reiterate, a saleswoman I am not. I dreaded the yearly candy bar sales as a kid whenever county softball season came around. Going door to door and asking people to buy candy? Smallest form of torture to my introverted soul.
Would this feel the same? Fear was whispering ‘yes.’ The Spirit seemed to be nudging me (again) out of my comfort zone.
**Let’s be honest. Am I the only one who’s ever just really wanted to just say “oh hush up” when the Spirit starts those nudges? Anyone else?**
So, I deliberated and finally decided to ask my hubby’s opinion. Because there was an initial investment involved in becoming an ambassador and, even though I was really excited/terrified about doing it, was it really the best idea to spend more money in a hairbrained, business start-up just when we were trying to save all the money? Plus, my husband is very detail-oriented, so I knew he would want to know allthethings – start-up costs, business plan, compensations, benefits, etc. – before we actually made the decision.
I believe the conversation went something like this:
Me: So, I heard about this company called Noonday Collection that sells fair trade jewelry made by artisans around the world, and I was thinking about signing up as an ambassador to help earn a little more towards the adoption…
J: How much does it cost to start up?
Me: (tells the amount with a slight apologetic tone, already thinking it’s $$ we don’t need to spend right now)
J: Go for it.
Who are you and what have you done with my husband? Why are you not asking allthequestions and wanting allthedetails?
See, what I didn’t realize at this point, was that earlier that morning, J had been praying on the way to work. Praying about the adoption process, if this was truly what God wanted us to do, how much it was going to cost, where the money would come from. He has always been the main bread-winner during our marriage, and it was a lot of pressure financially for him to process. So he simply prayed that God would give me some creative ideas to earn money as well.
This was the same morning that I was sitting at home, pondering whether or not to follow my heart, jump off the deep end, and become an artisan advocate by selling jewelry.
And I had no idea that God was already answering his prayer.
Which explains why my hubby didn’t ask allthequestions. He knew this was God’s answer.
When J told me about the prayer he had prayed that very morning, I was dumbfounded. I mean, I knew God answered prayer, but it didn’t often seem like the answer came that quickly and that blatantly. But, it was one more whisper that we seemed to be heading in the right direction, so I signed up. I was so excited…my heart was connecting with this line of work in the same way it did when I lived and taught overseas. And, to top it all off, I was able to contribute to our family income.
You know when you follow the Spirit’s leading, it doesn’t always mean things will be easy, right? Who am I kidding, I’m sure you know that. You could probably tell stories for hours about how NOT easy this Spirit-led life is. How, as soon as you say ‘yes’ to God’s whisper, Fear, Discouragement, Shame, Rejection – they all chime in and start shouting how it can’t be done, at least not by you anyways.
Well, Fear started in on me right away. That whole ‘not a saleswoman’ thing? Yeah. What was I thinking? I wasn’t cut out for this. And Fear dug even deeper. I wasn’t even sure I was cut out to be a mom of adopted children, if I was being gut-level honest. If I hadn’t physically birthed them, would the mommy-gene even kick in?
And then, my hubby spoke up again. He said:
Babes, you have something to offer to others.
That was it. But it hit me right between the eyes. I have something to offer…really. I have something to offer. You have something to offer.
In this Spirit-led story that God is writing with our lives, the Enemy would like nothing better than to make us think we have absolutely nothing to offer.
His whispers sound a little something like this:
Who do you think you are?
No one will pay money for that.
No one will listen to your songs.
No one will read your words.
You don’t have what it takes.
But those are lies. And the truth is the whisper of God in our heart:
YOU have something to offer to others. Yes, you.
You are my child.
People need your art.
They need to read your words.
Those children need you.
You DO have what it takes. You have ME.
Let’s be people who listen to the truth. And then let’s live like we know it’s true.