Labor Day weekend, 2015.
We saw their picture on a friend’s Facebook page. Our reactions went a little something like this:
Me: Oh, they’re so cute!
J: Yeah…that’s not happening though.
Me: Yeah, it’s a little much.
The ‘no’ rolled so easily off our tongues. As I wrote in my journal a few days later,
…the mountain (God would) need to move in order to adopt (them) would be colossal. Huge.
It was true. Yes, I know, the Christian answer says, “But God is in the mountain-moving business.” And it’s completely true – 100 percent. Nothing is impossible for God. But when you’re facing questions of monumental proportions that seemingly have no answer, it’s a whole heckuvanother faith game to believe that you’ll actually see Him move those mountains in your own life. And so the ‘no’ becomes much easier.
The only problem was, we didn’t stop to ask God before we said ‘no.’ And over the next few days and weeks, the Spirit seemed to be whispering a different sort of answer in both of our hearts. An answer that seemed to go a little something like this:
What if you said yes?
What if you just took the next step?
Remember that prayer you prayed?
The one where you asked Me to lead you, to make a glorious name for Myself in your family?
What if I’m leading you into this?…
*Cue mild panic attack and allthemillionsofquestions*
Unchartered territory times infinity (I may be a bit dramatic…but not by much). Not what we were expecting. Bravery we didn’t think we had. Limited resources. Not enough. But, but, but…
But, because we’ve both learned over the years that it doesn’t really do a whole lot of good to argue with God (although it doesn’t always stop us), we pressed into the whisper and leaned forward with a tentative first step.
It’s a doozy, that first step. Anyone who is terrified of heights -like me- and has still had the nerve/stupidity to go on a zip line can testify to that. And yet the ride is usually thrilling. Wind in your face, arms turned to wings, things that once loomed large now birds-eye small. You land at the bottom of the zip line and look back up, ready to do it all over again. What once made your palms sweaty truthfully still does, but now, it also holds the rush of feeling fully alive. You would have missed the rush, missed the journey, if you hadn’t fought through the fear of taking that first step.
Fight through the risk. ~Gary Morland, co-founder of Hope*Writers
I’m learning that when it’s the Spirit whispering, asking us to take that first step, it doesn’t always make it less scary. But the rush is found in realizing that He already knows the end from the beginning, knows exactly what it is that He’s asking us to do, and knows that it will breathe life into our very souls if we will let it.
And so, we looked at that Facebook picture again.
Took a deep breath.
And stepped out.